12 Things I'd Do if I Were Pope for the Day

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If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would order all bishops and cardinals if they're not already doing so, to live with their priests in the diocesan communities - not in an exclusive residence.  The title bishop should not exalt the ordained, but humble.  I would remind them that they are shepherds called to serve their flock.  They need to live among the sheep. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would challenge all priests to rediscover the wonder and mystery of the sacraments.  If they believe in grace, in blessings, in miracles - if they believe that bread and wine is transformed into the Divine Presence during the consecration - it should show on their faces.  Their eyes should reflect that sense of wonder.

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would address Catholics everywhere in a public video announcement that would be posted to the Vatican YouTube Channel and released to press outlets worldwide. I would speak on behalf of the Church and say:

"We are sorry.  We are sorry that priests whom you trusted, abused your children.  We are sorry and disgraced that in some cases we protected these predators.  We are also sorry that through our efforts to keep our universal family in tact, we sometimes disciplined without love, judged without understanding, and used fear and guilt to control you, rather than employ vision and passion to lead you.  But we love you - all of you.  And as all men's sins are shortcuts to love, we confess our sins, but proclaim that love for you has always occupied the greatest portion of our heart.  And our love still stands firm, unwavering and unconditional.  We pray that God will show us how to bind up our wounds and find each other again, and walk together as a family."

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would remind my faithful - especially priests, teachers, and parents that love relationships are like bank accounts.  Affirmations are the deposits.  Corrections and criticisms are withdrawals.  Overdrafts carry penalties, and bad credit is hard to shake.  Don't offer a correction or cast your judgements without making a few deposits first. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would immediately decree that women can be ordained and priests can marry.  Then I'd appoint a task force to develop a strategy for integrating these changes into the Church's infrastructure.  There would be little or no discussion regarding the justice of this decision. 

If I were Pope for day ...
... I would pose this question to every woman... "When does life begin?"   And since we could debate the question into infinity, I would beg women everywhere to give "life" the benefit of the doubt.  Choose life.  Always choose life.  Trust God to work it out.  Likewise, I'd encourage Catholic institutions to demonstrate their support by not exiling women who choose life from schools and pastoral ministries just because they are unwed mothers.


If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would allocate funds for a worldwide marketing campaign that encourages praying the rosary, complemented by handing our free rosaries, online instructions on how to say it, and testimony from rosary devotees about the benefits.  Funds would also support developing a Rosary YouTube Channel. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
...I would demand two immediate changes in clergy lifestyle.  Priests and bishops would be required to spend at least two weeks per year in personal reflection and uninterrupted prayer (not a vacation) in order to recharge the spirit.  They would also be required to share at least one meal a week with a local family.  Yes - every week.  The purpose of this meal-sharing is for the clergy to learn - not teach. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would ban all clothing that denotes religious importance.  This would include gold crosiers, ornate mitres, choir robes and expensive vestments.  This is not an effort to berate symbolic or ritual garments, but to eliminate the flashiness that implies that those wearing the garments are worthy of worship. I would also officially ban forever - the kissing of rings.

If I were Pope for the day ...
...I would assign a marketing task force to bring the good works of the Church into the media spotlight.  The Church gives millions to charitable causes world wide, and engages in countless acts that serve the world's poor and needy, yet we keep a low profile about these involvements.  It's time to balance the public view. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would warn all priests and bishops that ecclesiastical ambition is sinful and unnecessary.  I'd encourage them to reject the desire for title, power and recognition, and realize that God is strongest in them when they are the most vulnerable. Jesus Christ rejected titles, and the ones around him who sought power and control were the very ones who organized his crucifixion. 

If I were Pope for the day ...
... I would encourage the faithful to realize that being a priest is not easy.  Most of the feedback they get from a congregation is critical.  Priests are seldom appreciated or personally affirmed, yet they are expected to be an infinite well of spiritual insight, understanding, forgiveness, and encouragement. Priests are always on call, and to them it often seems that no matter how much of themselves they give... it's never enough.  They are often lonely.  Remember that priests are human too.  Affirm them when you can, give them the space they need,  and do your part in working with them to nurture the faith of the community. 


There it is. Twelve insights of a lifelong Catholic who worked many years in the Church.  I'm sure  some readers will find my insights impractical and even blasphemous.

But then ... the name of this blog is ...   (read the header if you've forgotten).



Copyright 2013, by Great Blue Media.  Portions of this article were published in 2007.  This article written on the morning Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation. 

Merry Christmas from the Burgoynes - 2012

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Behind all seen things lies something vaster; everything is but a path, a portal or a window opening on something more than itself.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

December 2012 

Merry Christmas from Marion Station, the town that missed disaster by only five miles in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. Our friends to the southwest in Crisfield didn’t fare as well, and we remember them prayerfully. This year we marked ten years living in the Vance Miles House. It’s still haunted, but it’s home. I haven’t lived in one place for this long since my childhood home in Riverdale. I always figured we’d be itching to move after a few years. But it’s our refuge – our safe place and we are comfortable here. I’ll never leave the Eastern Shore landscape, and this house makes for a warm home at Christmas.

Gracie, our seven-year-old granddaughter told me she loved this house. She loved how everything was all stacked up everywhere and you could find good stuff in those piles. I asked her what she would do if Grandpa and I ever decided to move. She thought a minute and then said, “Well .... I guess I’d just burst into flames.” 

We’re staying for a while so Gracie doesn’t have to go through that nasty transformation any time soon.

It’s nice to know the little ones love coming here. We’re abundantly blessed with family. Becky and Harry and the boys are well. Ben was one of three students in his high school to make the National Honor Society. Connor is still crazy over soccer. He admitted to me last summer that he is “a soccer legend.” I loved that. Al, Ruthie and Bailea are in Kings Bay, GA where Al is serving our country in the US Navy. Bailea has curls that Goldilocks would envy and a personality that makes Shirley Temple seem drab. Dominic is busy working as the Banquet Manager for La Fontaine Blue and seems to like it, though it takes all of his weekends and most holidays. He’s recently adopted a cat that is more like a dog. She follows him everywhere, even goes to work with him.

Daniel started his own business this year installing windows and building decks and is doing well for the first year. We were his first customer, and we love our new deck. Amber has just started Pharmacy school and their twins, Mia and Grace are in second grade, and growing up so fast. Mia tends to exaggerate. On Thanksgiving I told the grandkids I’d give them a penny for every pecan they collected from our yard. Mia came in with a coffee can full and said, “I just counted these and I’ve got fourteen thousand pecans. How many dollars does that make?” Lara and Dave are thriving as the doting parents of Tristan, our blond, two-year-old prince who wants to talk so badly that he incorporates the words he knows with ones he makes up. He can talk a mile-a-minute, and does so with hand gestures and expressions more befitting a businessman than a toddler. And he plays me well, too. He calls me “Gammy” and I melt. Sometimes I say, “What do you want? Anything. It’s yours. You want me to get out my checkbook?” I can’t imagine refusing him anything. His parents know this. Could be problematic later.

Dan and I are well. Dan is fully retired and though he moves slowly, he always makes the effort to push himself a little more each day. He spends most of his days taking care of our old house, the yard, the animals and giving me the support I need to balance my job and hobby. I’m still doing rural economic development for the State of Maryland (my 8th year) and I’m still writing. Though Dan and I travel as much as we can, our best times are spent at home with each other and with the kids when they visit. We are blessed to have this tribe. And grace has smiled on us again this year. We have a new grandchild on the way. Lara and David are expecting a new baby on June 4th. Life is full and our family is our greatest joy.

For those of you who have known me for a few years, you’ll recall that there is always a spot in our Christmas letter where I write that I’m working on a book about mystical places in Ireland. Year after year I write that I’m going to finish it. This year I got serious and put a book proposal together and pitched three literary agents. All three requested proposals. (This rarely happens.) One agent placed it with a mid-size NY publisher and I accepted their offer. But as we got into the marketing process it became apparent that my book wasn’t a good fit for that publisher. They have a strong focus on spirituality and rarely touch the travel markets. My book is more travel than spirituality. We both realized the book would do better with a publisher that had a strong travel focus, so we voluntarily parted ways, but the process was very encouraging, and I will pick it back up again in 2013.

I went to Ireland without Dan this year. And while I was lonely, we had a fabulous tour. Our guests were perfect, our bus driver, Mick was not only professional and competent, he was entertaining. He taught us many Irish bus driver-isms like “Hold your wind to cool your porridge.” Our tour took us through the west, to the Burren, Connemara, the Hill of Uisneach and Holy Island. Every time I go back to Ireland, I am changed by the experience. The land has a magnetic draw, so I keep going back. In September (5-15) I’ll be escorting a tour to Northern Ireland – Donegal, the Antrim Coast, Lough Neagh, Derry and Armagh. Last September I spent a week in County Tyrone with my friend (and guide) Maura Brooks. She opened my eyes to many “thin places” in the North, and those sites will be the foundation of next year’s tour. Think about joining us. Information is on line at www.thinplacestour.com

In April Dan and I visited Charleston, SC. It was the first trip I’ve ever taken where I didn’t want to come home. What a magical place. The pulse of the town and its history, the stories, the Live Oaks, Folly Beach, the seafood, the harbor and the colors all mix together to form this exquisite soup that always leaves you wanting more. Charleston has become one of my favorite destinations.

The picture at the top of this letter is of the Angel Oak – a Live Oak near Charleston that is said to be the oldest living thing east of the Rockies. Estimations on its age run from 500 to 1500 years old. Its circumference is 27 feet, and it stands 66 feet high with branches that cover over 17,000 square feet. Arborists estimate that the root spread underground is as vast as what we see above the ground. Old tales tell about the ghosts of African slaves appearing as “angels” in the tree. The tree has a mystical quality. It sits in its own little park on Johns Island, and its heavy branches now lay on the ground so the visitor walks into the tree canopy instead of under it. There were other tourists there when we visited. I noticed that all of us walking in the tree were silent. If anyone spoke, it was in whispers. The Angel Oak is cloaked with an unspoken call to reverence.

Khalil Gibran wrote “Trees are poems that the earth writes on the sky.” The Angel Oak is like that. Though it’s made up of wood and leaves, there is an elemental presence about it that is set apart, a presence that transcends time and space and weaves it all together. Like a poem, the tree brings us into a higher level of our own existence. So Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s words about the vastness beyond and portals and openings seemed a fitting caption.

To us, Christmas is like the Angel Oak. The physical manifestations of Christmas, decorations, wrapped gifts, lights, trees, traditions, toys, celebrations, wreaths, Santa, food, candles, stars, mangers ... they all comprise this majestic, outer beauty that makes up Christmas. And we love it. But just behind the outer shell is the vast world of the heart that feeble words could never describe. It’s this world that magnifies all the good and bad in our life. If we are loved and connected we feel the love even more strongly at Christmas. If we are lonely, that too is magnified.

I’m always puzzled when people complain about the glitz and the materialism of Christmas. So many say that we’ve gotten so materialistic that we miss the meaning. Pure intent always finds the meaning. If the spirit of Christmas is in your heart, the gifts and glitter are a demonstration of joy. Some use them, some don’t. But they don’t detract. An empty heart, a lonely heart will see the outer shell in and of itself alone, because for them, nothing lies beyond. Their portals are closed. These people will always be searching. But what they are looking for can only be seen through the lens of love. And love can only be spread by love. So perhaps we should look for them and reach out.

I figure childless families should go out and get a kid to spend Christmas with. The joyful freedom and innocence children project at Christmas transforms even the stodgiest of adults. All the stories say so. It was Tiny Tim who moved Scrooge, the Little Drummer Boy who gave the greatest gift, and little Cindy Lou who pulled at the Grinch’s heartstrings. What happens to that wonder and magic and imagination? Why does growing up mean we must shed our belief in magic? Christmas is a time when we try to capture that in ourselves if only for one day. To really believe that there is “something vaster” behind the decorations and traditions, something that will wrap us in love and bind us with all who have gone before us, and all who are yet to be born. Something that will help us shed the image of ourselves that is clothed in secrets and lies, and reveal our real selves. The selves we were as children.

There is one child we all keep with us at Christmas. He’s at the heart of it. He is the one we celebrate. He’s the baby who was love - and was born into a mean, disbelieving world, and who lived to change that. His love was so strong that it is still alive after all these years. And it is reborn Christmas after Christmas.

So here’s to you and yours. We wish you love and wonder and magic. If you’re suffering, we wish you hope and strength. If you’re happy, we celebrate your joy. If you’re searching we hope you find what you need in the secrets hidden behind the landscape. As for us ...we’ll be with the children trying to absorb as much magic and wonder as possible. Know that if you are receiving this letter, it’s because you are special to us.

Merry Christmas. May God bless you and those whom you love.

5 Christmas Traditions - Enrich Your Holidays

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A Mimosa Toast on Christmas Morning

Christmas traditions make our holidays richer and can give continuity to family Christmas celebrations generation after generation.  The traditions are often what the kids remember most.  Here are five Christmas traditions that have enriched our holidays over the years.

Gifts under the Tree Early with Code Names

This was a great tradition once my children no longer "believed."  In December as I purchased gifts for the kids, I would wrap them and put them under the Christmas tree.  But I had code names for each child. So the name tags, instead of reading Dominic or Daniel or Lara would read Dasher or Dancer or Comet.  The kids would pick up the gifts and shake them and examine the sizes and try to figure out which name identified their gifts.  Every year the code changed.... always a trio of some sort like Michael, Gabriel and Raphael ... or Snoopy, Linus and Charlie.

This tradition built great anticipation, and made it so fun for the kids.  Plus, I could wrap as the gifts were purchased and didn't have to keep them hidden somewhere.  Christmas morning I'd break the codes and say, "Dominic - you are Dasher.  Lara, you are Dancer. Daniel, you are Comet."

No Baby Jesus in the Manger Until Christmas Eve - Youngest Puts Them in Place

 

Baby Jesus is Places in the Manger by the Youngest Child

Perhaps it was a Spanish thing, but in my home growing up as well as in my grandparents' house the nativity set would come out with the Christmas decorations but baby Jesus was never in his manger until Christmas Eve.  The empty manger was a reminder that Jesus was coming (but wasn't here yet). Then on Christmas Eve, just before going to bed, that the youngest child in the family placed the  Baby Jesus in his manger.  This tradition created anticipation and excitement during Advent, and made the youngest child feel special.  It was also a reminder of what Christmas was all about.

FUNNY:  I have nearly a dozen Nativity sets. One year I forgot where I put all the Baby Jesuses.  The mangers didn't got filled that year and Lara (our youngest) was outraged!  I found all of them later that year when I was cleaning out a drawer in the dining room.

  Eat off of Christmas Dishes - All 12 Days

Spode Christmas Tree Dishes

Starting December 24th and continuing through the Epiphany (Jan 6th), we use Christmas dishes for our family meals, entertaining, snacks and even the morning coffee.  In the early years, I had plastic, mismatched plates.  I started collecting Spode Christmas Tree china in my 30s and now I have a complete set.  Sometimes guests are hesitant to use the Spode fearing they will break a piece.  I always tell them that get great joy from using these dishes and that I expect some will get broken over time. We don't worry about breakage.

It doesn't matter what kind of Christmas dishes a family has or how expensive they are.  Using them is fun.  They are a memorable accent to the special foods we have at Christmas, and they are tool of celebration - just like party hats and candles on a birthday cake. 

 

Strada for Christmas Breakfast

Italian Strada for Christmas Breakfast

Every Christmas morning, we have Italian Strada for breakfast, a dish we make with sausage, eggs, cheese and bread.  It's easy to make the night before, it's all served in one dish and it's very filling.  My family loves it.

Recipe:
2 lbs ground pork sausage (browned & drained)
12 eggs
1 1/2 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp salt
2 cu shredded cheddar cheese
5 slices white bread cubed

 Mix up the eggs, mustard and salt with an electric mixer - just until mixed pretty well. Lay the bread in a layer across a 9X13 inch pan Sprinkle sausage over the bread. Pour egg mixture over that. Put cheese on the top. Bake at 350 for about an hour. Let sit at least 15 minutes before serving.

Mimosas - Another part of the Christmas Breakfast tradition for us is Mimosas (Orange juice mixed with Champagne) to complement the Strada - adults only, of course.

The Christmas Walk

Part of my family walking our neighborhood on Christmas Morning

As simple as this sounds, it's become a nice tradition for our family.  After breakfast and presents, we go for a walk - all of us - adults and children and dogs.  Most times it's around the neighborhood, some times we drive to a park or wildlife refuge.  It's a time to relax, get fresh air and all be together in the Christmas outdoor landscape.  We live in a pretty temperate climate, but we'd do this whether it was cold and snowy or sunny and mild.  This is also a great photo op.


For our family, these traditions frame our Christmas memories and give us some continuity.  The traditions are what we remember about Christmas years later.