Day 4 - I Hate Myself - Television is a Seductive Mistress

Margarita, good friends, good times.
As day four ticks on in my Ten days of Hell - I WILL finish the Thin Places Book Proposal, I must perform double duty.  Day 3 was a waste.  I didn't even look at the proposal.  I went out drinking with my friends in the scenic town of Berlin Maryland (aka Hale Maryland - Runaway Bride was filmed there).

I had a fabulous crab cake, made with lump crab meat from Philips Seafood in Baltimore.  Our appetizer was mussels from Prince Edward Island served with hot bread <--this was pure food magic.  I washed it down with a very large frozen Margarita.  Service was excellent at the Atlantic Hotel.  Atmosphere was superb.  The company of our old friends Gary and Maureen Grant, couldn't have been better. A heartwarming reunion in one of my favorite Eastern Shore small towns.

Of course this Sunday outing distracted me from my commitment of working daily on my book proposal for Thin Places: Irish Gateways to the Otherworld.  I've allotted myself 10 days to meet my self-imposed deadline of February 27th.  I've been working (or not working) on this proposal for about 4 years.

You might say, "Well, no big deal.. you need a day off ... it's good to get out... don't work on Sunday ...what's more important that maintaining good friendships? ... you deserve it (I don't deserve it)"  All these excuses are like gateway drugs to that awful addiction of procrastination.  It's ruined my writing life.  

And if all I took was a few hours in the day for this enjoyable meal and reunion, I'd not feel guilty.  But now I'm resorting to self flagellation rivaling the early Christian monks, because I got home at 2:30 p.m. with a good 8 hours worth of uninterrupted time to devote to writing and I chose to .... I actually made a decision to .... put off writing and watch The First 48 on A&E | HD. 

That was only the beginning.

Then it was another episode of The First 48 - actually three in a row.  That stuff is addictive.  I watched them all, then I fell asleep on the couch.

I woke up at 6:30 p.m. hating myself for having wasted 4 hours.  I went upstairs, sat down at my desk opened up my proposal and realized I needed my notebook (which was downstairs in the same room as the tv).  While I was in the living room I thought to myself "Hmmm... Sunday night.  This is the season finale for Downton Abbey and also the night for a new episode Once Upon a Time." I needed to set the DVR to record these.

I turned the television back on.  Hit the Guide, went to the PBS channels and noticed that Philadelphia PBS (which we're fortunate to get) was running the ENTIRE SEASON 2 of Downton Abbey leading up to the season finale at 9:00 pm.

Yes, I did.

I turned on Downton Abbey (having already seen all the episodes including the season finale), and I watched Maggie Smith and that fabulous cast for four and half hours .... until 11:00 pm.  And if I wasn't committed to enough acts that would invoke self-hatred in the morning, I also downed a box of potato chips, two glasses of wine and an Edy's Real Fruit ice pop (lemonade flavor), repressing the memories of the 2000+ calories I'd ingested at the Atlantic Hotel earlier in the day.

Now, it's 11:11 a.m. on Monday and I'm still procrastinating.  So I'll sign off now and dive back into the proposal, hopefully accomplishing two days worth of work. 

Related Posts
Day 2 - This Introduction Sucks
Day 1 -  Ten Days of Hell - I WILL Finish Thin Places


  1. Stop, stop, stop! Hating yourself I mean ... even in jest (cause you know it's no joke, you're really feeling bad about this.) Thin places are about balance, acceptance, joy and release. You're aware of them. You love the thought of them. You want to share it. Writing pitches can be soul-destroying but you're offering a book that's soul-enhancing. So dump the negative stuff, find the silence and let the thought flow through it. I know I'm sounding like your bossy Aunt Jemima, and I'm sorry! But I just want you to get on with it so I can read the book :)

    1. thanks, Felicity. Stay tuned. I'll get it done. This is all part of the dance. But I am hating myself today. Looking for love tomorrow.


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